We are all experiencing grief during this time.  We move in and out of grief.  It may be little things that all of a sudden come up for us and emotions can be raw and so real.  Sometimes we want to fix, or advise, or make those feelings go away.  It's uncomfortable to sit with discomfort or even to identify what we're feeling. 
 

​Questions for reflection:
 
At this time, how can we show empathy for others, knowing that this is a very difficult time for everyone?  
 
Can we listen to others without trying to fix, advise, or tell our own story?
 
Can we listen without judgment? Knowing that we are doing our best and everyone reacts to stress differently.
 
Watch this short video to see how we can be empathetic when others are in grief. 
Watch here

Linda Kavelin-Popov, co-founder of The Virtues Project™, author, international speaker, and psychotherapist, has generously given me permission to share her latest blog:
 
No one in our lifetime has ever experienced a pandemic with such widespread global impact on health, finances, and a sense of uncertainty about the future. It’s natural to feel scared and anxious, when we have no idea how long it will last or the toll it will take. How do we guard against panic, or losing our footing entirely? Some folks say faith will get us through. Honestly speaking, we also need to guard against the spiritual bypass of our God-given feelings. It doesn’t help anyone who is in tears, or is vulnerable enough to share their fears, to be told, “Just have faith.” Only when we face our feelings with honesty and compassion can we access the true power of our virtues — those inner strengths that reflect the Divine qualities of love, trust, peace, self-discipline, resilience, patience and even joy. Author, James Baldwin said, “Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.”
 
How do we face this pandemic and maintain hope when panic is knocking loudly at the door? How do we hold on and ride the waves of change? Certainly not by suppressing our feelings. Here is a way to honor our feelings without allowing them to control us, a way to heal while living in the light of faith and hope. Extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures. Here are some thoughts on how virtues offer CPR for the soul.

READ MORE

What better time than now to use the virtue of Generosity!  There is no doubt we are facing a very difficult time.  We are also seeing story after story of overwhelming kindness, caring, generosity, thoughtfulness, hope and unity. 
 
We are called to be generous in our caring and kindness for other people, even those whose ideas are very different from ours.  There is no longer we and they, there is only us.  All of us are connected in our humanity.  Our generosity of spirit includes empathy for those who are afraid, ill or lonely.  (which is all of us!)
 
There are so many ways we can demonstrate generosity, now that are lives have slowed down.  We can call that friend we've been meaning to touch base with.  We can write that card and mail it.  We can offer our listening ear so someone can empty their cup.  
 
We can show our gratitude to those who are serving humanity: health care professionals and everyone involved in health care, delivery drivers, grocery and pharmacy employees and managers, garbage truck companies and drivers, teachers and educators, caring strangers who offer to do things for us that we can't do ourselves, the people who make our lives easier every day.
 
How can you be generous today?
 
Who has been generous to you during this crisis?
 
Wonderful examples of Generosity:

I've been interested and intrigued about how we can make the world a better place since I was in 7th grade in Mrs. Thomason's Social Studies class.
 
When I learned that the United States stockpiled food and the government paid for it, while people in other countries went hungry, I vowed to do something about it when I grew up!
At age 17, I had a life-changing experience.  My college had a very strict Honor Code.  It was drilled into us from day one, not to cheat, steal, lie or break one's word of honor, which terrified us all as Freshmen.  However, by year four and graduation, I hadn't cheated, stolen or broken my word of honor, and I hadn't seen anyone else do that. I knew that this code inspired me to live by my code of honor.
Fast forward twenty years.  When I learned about The Virtues Project in 1991, I knew that my personal beliefs were a match for an initiative that helps us all satisfy another kind of hunger:  to live a meaningful life by discovering and developing our virtues, such as love, kindness, respect, caring, honesty, peacefulness and honor.  
 
For more than twenty years, I've been honored to facilitate hundreds of workshops and webinars worldwide for individuals, parents, educators and business people to help them live more purposeful, joyful and peaceful lives.
 
What experience in your life has inspired you to make the world a better place?
 
Jump over to https://www.facebook.com/VirtuesTraining/ and share what inspires you!
 
Have a beautiful day!
Betsy

"Can joy be cultivated? And, if so, can we teach our kids how to be more joyful in their lives?  Mindful Magazine says that the answer to both of these questions is yes. But it takes knowing what kinds of practices bring true happiness—and not just momentary pleasure—to your life. Once you’ve mastered that, it’s not too hard to introduce those practices to kids in a way that they can understand and appreciate.

Research shows that mindfulness practice can help rewire our brains for happiness. Mindfulness meditation has been shown to decrease stress and increase happiness, and the practice of compassion and caring for others is key to better relationships, health, and emotional well-being. By teaching children mindfulness skills we help them increase their well-being and enable them to meet the stresses of the world with presence, self-compassion, and openness.  Here are two powerful practices for cultivating gratitude and building resilience in difficult times." Read more
​
Did you know that gratitude literally transforms your brain?
According to UCLA’s Mindfulness Awareness Research Center, regularly expressing gratitude literally changes the molecular structure of the brain, keeps the gray matter functioning, and makes us healthier and happier.
When you feel happiness, the central nervous system is affected. You are more peaceful, less reactive, and less resistant. And gratitude is the most effective practice for stimulating feelings of happiness.  Read more

So there are lots of good reasons to practice Gratitude!
What are three things you are grateful for today?
Can you make it a daily practice to practice Gratitude?

Here's to being mindful of what we're grateful for, and to experiencing more joy!
Betsy

As we honor those who died in service to our country on this Memorial Day, my friend Nicolette Jahnke shares her reflections:
I woke up early and laid in bed, I just laid there and listened to the birds announce the rising of the sun and the death of night, like Taps, those lonesome bugles that are played at a military funeral! 
Memorial Day, If I had a bugle and knew how to play it, I would go outside and pay homage to all the fallen soldiers, blowing air, breathing for all those who no longer breathe, who lost their last breath on the battlefield of some foreign country or the battlefield, of their emotions coming back, but never really coming back!

I lay in bed and thought of the stories! My grandfather, a young boy of 17, whose job it was to bury the dead on the Field of Flanders during World War I.
He told my father,” I had such a difficult time putting dirt over their faces, seeing eyes staring at me, blood, but we had to be quick, war didn’t stop so we could bury the dead. I wanted to give them some sort of respect, so I’d tear up pieces of cloth and keep them buried in my pockets in order to put them over their faces before I shoveled the dirt. It was the least I could do to honor them and the ultimate sacrifice they paid.” 

​Mother:  A female who has borne offspring; female parent; a woman looked upon as a mother, or exercising authority like that of a mother; something that gives rise to or exercises protective care over something else; being the origin, source or protector; to care for or protect, like a mother. 
            -Random House Webster's Dictionary
 
As we celebrate mothers this week, let's honor and celebrate those who act as mothers to others, in many ways.Mothers in their communities, Mothers to children who need mothering,Mothers to causes bigger than themselves.  They may or may not have their own children, but they are serving in the world in unique ways to make it a better place.
 

One of the things I love most about TheVirtues Project™ and the Virtues is thevirtue of Respect.  Isn't respect needed in all walks of life in the world now? It's about how we treat our children, our spouse or partner, our parents, grandparents, neighbors and those we don't know.  It's about how we talk with each other, and how we listen to others' points of view.  
 
Especially in this day of social media, real and fake news, TV, and internet,respect sometimes seems like a dinosaur.  
 
Here's are some simple ways to practice respect. 
 

• Speak respectfully to others by looking at them with friendliness and curiosity. 
• Get curious, not furious.
• What virtue can you see in someone who has a different outlook from yours? 
• I may see determination or purposefulness, even if I don't agree with that person.
• When you see their virtue, give them an acknowledgment. 

 
Speak it out loud.   Say what virtue you see and how you see it. 
 
For example: 
"You have been so helpful in setting the table." 
"Thanks for your generosity in volunteering in the classroom," 
"I appreciate your loyalty in never backbiting about me."
"You've been so patient in waiting your turn."
"Thanks for listening so attentively with respect."
 
We can take the lead in our family by treating each person with respect.  That means listening when they talk, giving our full attention instead of being on our phone or device.  It means saying "please" and "thank you" often.  It means treating people who look different, or have a different religion, with respect and dignity.  
 
Make someone's day! Acknowledge them for a virtue.
 
Joyfully,
Betsy

​A Very Special Love Story
​
Often after our walk, I would read to Linda before getting her ready for bed. One evening, while sitting together on the sofa, and taking a break from reading, I took her hand and said: “I love you, Linda.” She looked at me and asked: “Why?” I was stunned for a moment and imagined that she might be feeling unlovable in her current condition. I don’t remember how I responded to her question, but that evening, I wrote a love letter to her which I read to her every day for the next three years. I reasoned that her short-term memory was almost gone, and I was sure that my missive would be new to her each day, and most of all would be a daily reminder of what a beautiful person she is. In November 2006, Linda and I sat together, holding hands as her doctor explaned the diagnosis. Linda’s challenges at work and at home were symptoms of young-onset of Alzheimer’s type of dementia. I was shocked by the news, but Linda was devastated. She had witnessed her mother and grandmother struggle with this disease so Linda could see into her own future and she was only sixty-one years old. During the thirteen years that followed, Linda and I became closer and more in love than ever before. 
 
Linda moved to a professional care facility in March of 2016, but we spent time together daily holding hands and walked together every evening before sunset. During our walks, we passed by beautiful plants and flowers in the garden and with each one Linda asked: "What's that?" I would respond, "That's a dahlia." and she would reach out to gently touch the petals. "What's this?" she would ask.  "This is a blueberry bush. Isn't it beautiful?" and I might give her a berry to taste. Our strolls injected emotional security and love into her days which were otherwise filled with confusion and uncertainty.  

​May the holidays allow you to appreciate the Wonder around you and within.

May today be a day of wonder for you and your loved ones.  May you find joy and peace in your heart during this special time of year.
 
Thank you for the gifts you bring to your family, friends, community and the world.
 
Many blessings,
               Betsy